PORT COQUITLAM (NEWS1130) - There are no simple solutions, but we may be able to draw some positives from tragedies involving bullying and suicide. A recent case of a teen from Port Coquitlam taking her own life has renewed a call to stop bullying.

"There have been many tragedies and a lot of our attention to things like bullying has been born of these tragedies," says Dr. Shelley Hymel with the UBC Department of Education and Counselling Psychology and Special Education.

"Reena Virk, Dawn Marie Wesley... all were tragedies that actually served to transform people and schools and change kids. But it really depends on what we do with it as adults."

Dr. Hymel says schools affected by suicide and bullying are often transformed with a united effort from adults and kids working together.

"But more often than not, we don't want to talk openly about it. When kids do have a chance to talk about it and understand the impact of their behaviour, then you get changes," she points out.

"We have a wonderful place called the BC Crisis Centre; they do a lot of educational things on suicide, how to recognize the signs. How can we use these educational resources to get kids to become more aware and to be willing to take the next step when they think someone is in trouble rather than just hoping it goes away?" she wonders.

"We often hope we can just make it go away with some easy, simple things. Over the last 20 years, the research on bullying has skyrocketed and we know it's a heck of a lot more complicated than anyone thought, originally," explains Hymel.

"Bullying is a group phenomenon; 85 to 88 per cent of the time, there is at least two or three other kids watching. Those by-standers are critical, yet bystanders are afraid to intervene. They don't really know what to do. We need to teach kids empathy, to understand their responsibility, and to give them strategies on what to do," she adds.

"Similar research is showing that kids who stand up and say something like 'don't do that, that's not okay' actually can end bullying within a few seconds, 57 per cent of the time. That's not the most terrific odds but kids don't feel empowered and we need to empower them."

"We don't know what to do. Imagine you came across that YouTube video. What would you know to do?" she asks.

"The BC Crisis Centre has a wonderful program where they give kids options. If you suspect a friend or per is considering suicide, here's what you can do: Letting kids know there is support out there, that there are possibilities out there... [it's] one step, but one of the things we recognize is that getting kids who are aware of it to step up or at least tell someone is really critical and it's hard."

Hymel says a great way for parents to start talking to kids about bullying is to use books to open up the conversation. That is one of the strategies that will be discussed at Bullying: It Ends With You, an upcoming forum at the Terry Fox Theatre in Port Coquitlam. At the forum, a documentary called How to Help: A Youth Perspective on Bullying will be screened.

"We need thoughtful approaches... I think a lot of kids don't realize
there is a life after this; there is a hopelessness that seems to go
with it. I'm not an expert on suicide, but I do know that sense of 
hopelessness is what we have to deal with," says Dr. Hymel.

Bullying: It Ends With You is from 7 p.m to 9 p.m. on October 24th. Register online or by email.

Resources for kids and parents

The Crisis Intervention and Suicide Prevention Centre is available to help province-wide.

Stop A Bully is a national anti-bullying reporting system.

Kids Help Phone is available anytime for youth of all ages. Call toll-free 1-800-668-6868