Parents and coaches should work together to ensure that the atmosphere in team sports is healthy and productive, sports psychologists said.
Often and unfortunately, it seems there are more stories about coaches and others in authority being accused of bullying than compliments that coaches and parents are doing a good job, said Jedidiah Blanton, associate director of research and youth development for the Center for Sport and Performance Psychology at Minnesota State University Mankato branch.
On Thursday, football coaches in Wythe County resigned amid accusations of hazing. George Wythe High School Head Coach H.S. Ingo has been charged with hazing and subjecting a student to corporal punishment. His assistant, Adam Hughes, has not been charged, but also resigned.
And earlier this week, parents accused coaches in Abingdon High School’s baseball program, headed by coach Mark Francisco, of bullying by refusing water and yelling at team members. School officials wouldn’t comment on the allegations.
“To sequester it, [those in charge of team sports programs] need to look at the leadership and how they encourage their philosophy,” Blanton said. “I think as coaches understand that and the administrators or people in power of youth sports encourage that kind of philosophical orientation of coaching young kids then we’ll see less of this.”
He said surveys of young people who play sports indicate that kids aren’t all that concerned about winning. On a top 10 list of reasons they play sports, he said, boys listed it as No. 8, and girls didn’t list it at all.
“Boys and girls in school sports and non-school sports both said the No. 1 reason they play sports is to have fun, to make friends and to develop skills,” he said. “So as adults, if we fail to recognize that in our own pursuit of coaching young kids, then we’re really not giving them what they want and not appealing to their interest of being there in the first place. Maybe that disconnect in participation between adults and kids is what causes this frustration, which can then lead to dramatic instances like bullying, which is really unfortunate.”
Eddie O’Connor, a sports psychologist and consultant for the Association for Applied Sport Psychology, said it is important for parents, players and coaches to understand what bullying is and take steps in practices and games to eliminate it.
“As kids get older, there can be harder coaching techniques,” he said. “That, however, is not bullying. When you invade someone’s personal space and shame them, that is bullying.”
Trent Petrie, director of the Center for Sport Psychology at the University of North Texas, also said it is important to identify what constitutes bullying.
“It’s when coaches are behaving in ways that go outside of what we might call the norm of coaching behavior,” Petrie said. “Where there’s perhaps extensive yelling, saying things in a very demeaning manner, possibly physical contact with the player ... things that could affect the health of the athlete.”
“There’s a real difference between an athlete not getting enough playing time and what we might call physical or verbal or emotional abuse,” Petrie said. “... It’s important for parents, particularly in high school or younger, for parents to be aware of the environment in which their kids are playing.”
He said an open coaching environment, in which parents can watch practices and observe the interaction between players and coaches, can help mitigate potential instances of bullying.
“What I’m talking about is not just, ‘My kid’s not playing and I’m upset,’” Petrie said. “Parents have to be able to let go of some control of their kids when they let them be part of a team and let them be part of a sport organization. They have to trust the coach is going to be there and make decisions and keep the welfare of their child in mind while they’re playing and learning. But what we’re talking about is when it extends beyond that, when it extends into behaviors that could be considered abusive.”
O’Connor said if a child says he or she is being bullied, it is important to listen.
“Really listen, so you can get on the same side,” he said. “Are they being coached hard? Is it just this child or the whole team? ... Until you really gather all that data, you can’t make a decision if this is truly a bullying case.”
He said that bullying in sports does sometimes happen, and he added that parents wouldn’t necessarily let their child be treated by a math teacher the way players are sometimes treated by coaches.
“There really is no reason [for yelling and other coaching behaviors] other than tradition,” he said.
Sometimes, Blanton said, there are so-called “helicopter parents,” who may try to control their child’s every activity and interaction. Sometimes, those parents may be living vicariously through their children and want them to succeed, and sometimes their child’s success in sports might be a type of social status, he said. As long as the coaches and the parents have a healthy respect and understanding for the coaching philosophy, and how that’s going to be carried out, Blanton said, it’s important to let coaches be coaches.
“Let the coaches do their job,” he said. “Let the kids develop a positive relationship with another adult, so long as the adult has the appropriate philosophy and interaction with the child. ... I think the parents have a responsibility to know who’s coaching their kids and coaches shouldn’t say they don’t want to interact with parents. Once that trusting relationship has been established and coaches can prove in every interaction that the parents need to let the kids play sports. I think a lot of adults need to recognize why that child is there. The statistics in becoming successful in sport, going on to college or even professional, is so slim. We really need people to enjoy sport to become physically active.”