Parents may have to answer questions – Record

Psychologists say there isn't a simple formula for talking to young children about death and tragedies, something that may be on the minds of Shasta County's parents in the wake of a brutal February filled with a series of local killings, fatal fires and car crashes.

Instead, they say parents should consider their child's age, maturity level and past experiences with grieving and loss before saying too much.

"My biggest advice is if you say too much beyond what they're ready to hear, it's going to be worse," said Michelle Engblom-Deglmann, director of clinical training and an assistant professor at Simpson University.

That's because young children have a difficult time thinking in the abstract, and they struggle to understand when someone dies; they're never coming back, said Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychology professor at the University of Massachusetts.

"There's an age where they're unable to grasp the meaning of what's happening," she said.

Instead, the two professors urge parents to ask their children what they want to know, should the issue come up.

"Open up a space for them to ask questions," Engblom-Deglmann said.

Parents also shouldn't be shy about turning to a mental-health professional like a school counselor or a private psychologist for advice, psychologists say.

Tracy Ray, a psychologist and director of the Gateway, Redding and Enterprise Achieving Together Partnership in Redding, said there also are a number of books that deal specifically with the subject of explaining death.

She suggested heading to the library or a bookstore to browse the parenting and children's literature sections.

Leave a Reply