本文選自《北外網院》的博客，點擊查看博客原文
TODAY women earn almost 60 percent of all bachelor's degreesand more than half of master's and Ph.D.'s. Many people believethat, while this may be good for women as income earners, it bodesill for their marital prospects。
如今几乎60%的學士學位、超過一半的碩士和博士學位是由女性獲得的。很多人相信儘管這也許能幫助女性多賺取些收入，但對他們的婚姻前景卻不妙。
As Kate Bolick wrote in a much-discussed article in TheAtlantic last fall, American women face "a radically shrinking poolof what are traditionally considered to be 'marriageable' men ─those who are better educated and earn more than they do." Educatedwomen worry that they are scaring away potential partners, andpundits claim that those who do marry will end up withunsatisfactory matches. They point to outdated studies suggestingthat women with higher earnings than their husbands do morehousework to compensate for the threat to their mates' egos, andthat men who earn less than their wives are more likely toexperience erectile dysfunction。
正如凱特﹒鮑力克去年秋季發表在《大西洋月刊》上一篇廣為討論的文章中寫道的那樣，美國女性“正面臨著傳統上适婚男性急劇減少的狀況。這些男性受到的教育良好，而且賺得也多。受過良好教育的女性擔心他們會讓潛在的伴侶望而卻步，專家聲稱最終那些結婚的人婚姻都不盡人意。他們暗示過去的研究顯示收入比丈夫高的女性做的家務多，這樣可以彌補對男性伴侶自尊的威脅，而且收入比妻子地低的男性更有可能患勃起功能障礙。
Is this really the fate facing educated heterosexual women:either no marriage at all or a marriage with more housework andless sex? Nonsense. That may have been the case in the past, but nolonger. For a woman seeking a satisfying relationship as well as asecure economic future, there has never been a better time to be orbecome highly educated。
要么不碰婚姻，要么就是婚後家務不斷、且鮮有性生活，女異性戀者的命運就該如此嗎？胡扯。過去也許是這樣，現在變了。女性想要有個滿意的伴侶和穩定的經濟未來，沒有比提高教育水平更好了。
For more than a century, women often were forced to choosebetween an education and a husband. Of women who graduated fromcollege before 1900, more than three-quarters remained single. Aslate as 1950, one-third of white female college graduates ages 55to 59 had never married, compared with only 7 percent of theircounterparts without college degrees。
一個多世紀以來，女性通常不得不在教育和丈夫之間做出選擇。1900年前，女大學生中超過3/4的人單身。1950年時，年齡在55至59之間的有1/3擁有大學學歷的白人女性從未嫁人，相比沒有大學學歷的對照組，這一比例僅占7%。
Some of these women chose to stay single, of course, and thatchoice has always been easier and more rewarding for educatedwomen. But the low marriage rates of educated women in the pastwere also because of the romantic and sexual prejudices of men. Onephysician explained the problem in Popular Science Monthly in 1905:An educated woman developed a "self-assertive, independentcharacter" that made it "impossible to love, honor and obey" as areal wife should. He warned that as more middle-class womenattended college, middle-class men would look to the lower classesto find uneducated wives。
其中有些女性選擇單身，當然，這個選擇對受過良好教育的女性是容易做的、也是值得的。但是過去受過良好教育的女性結婚率低也是由於男性的浪漫和性別偏見。一位內科醫生在1905年的《大眾科學期刊》上這樣解釋這個問題：受過良好教育的女性形成了“自信、獨立的品質”，這樣她們就沒有了現實生活中妻子應有的熱愛、尊重和服從的性格。他警告到：越來越多的中產階級女性去念大學後，中產階級男性將向更低的階級去尋找那些沒受過教育的人做老婆。
That is exactly what happened in the mid-20th century. From1940 to the mid-1970s, the tendency for men to marry downeducationally became more pronounced and the cultural ideal ofhypergamy ─ that women must marry up ─ became more insistent。
20世紀中葉的情況就是如此。從1940年至20世紀70年代，男性娶的女性受教育的水平沒自己高的現象比較普遍，高攀(女性嫁給比自己好的男性)的文化理想也是一貫堅持的。
Postwar dating manuals advised women to "play dumb" to catch aman ─ and 40 percent of college women in one survey said theyactually did so. As one guidebook put it: "Warning! ... Be carefulnot to seem smarter than your man." If you hide your intelligence,another promised, "you'll soon become the little woman to bepooh-poohed, patronized and wed."
二戰後的約會指南建議女性，要抓住男人的心，女人得“裝傻充愣”，在一份調查中，40%的大學女性稱他們就是這樣做的。一本手冊如此建議：“當心！....。.別讓自己看上去比妳的男人聰明。” 如果能隱藏妳的智慧，“很快妳就會變成小女人，被男人憐愛和保護，並步入婚姻。”
Insulting as it may have been, such advice was largely sound.Studying national surveys on mate preferences, David M. Buss, apsychologist at the University of Texas, and his colleagues foundthat in 1956, education and intelligence were together ranked 11thamong the things men sought in a mate. Much more important to themwas finding a good cook and housekeeper who was refined, neat andhad a pleasing disposition. By 1967, education and intelligence hadmoved up only one place, to No. 10, on men's wish lists。
儘管聽起來不太順耳，這些建議大體上還是正確的。研究全國的擇偶喜好調查之後，得克薩斯大學的心理學家戴維﹒布斯和他的同事發現，1956年時，在男性尋求伴侶的品質中，教育和智力並列排名第11位。他們更想找的是找個好廚師和家庭主婦，她得待人禮貌、舉止高雅、心情開朗。1967年時，男士的意向榜單上，教育和智力支上升了1位，排到第10位。
Men in the postwar period were threatened by the thought of awoman with more or even as much education as they had. One man whotaught at a women's college in the 1950s told me his colleaguesused to joke that once they knew a woman had earned a Ph.D., theydidn't even need to ask what she had specialized in: clearly, itwas in "Putting Hubby Down."
二戰後，一想到有個女人的受到的教育比自己多，甚至一樣多，男人就會覺得受到威脅了。20世紀50年代曾經在女子學院任教的一位男士告訴我說，知道一個女性有了博士學位之後，他們甚至不會問她從事什么專業研究，就開玩笑地說專業是“把相公比下去。”
But over the past 30 years, these prejudices have largelydisappeared. By 1996, intelligence and education had moved up toNo. 5 on men's ranking of desirable qualities in a mate. The desirefor a good cook and housekeeper had dropped to 14th place, near thebottom of the 18-point scale. The sociologist Christine B. Whelanreports that by 2008, men's interest in a woman's education andintelligence had risen to No. 4, just after mutual attraction,dependable character and emotional stability。
30多年過去了，這些偏見大部分已經不復存在了。1996年時，智力和教育狀況已經上升到男人尋求伴侶理想的品質排名的第5位。找一位廚師和家庭主婦已經降到第14位，接近一共18個排名的底部了。社會學家克里斯汀﹒威爾蘭(Christine B.Whelan)稱，2008年時男性對女性的教育和智力狀況的興趣已經上升到第4位了，僅次於彼此的吸引、可靠的品質和穩定的情感。
The result has been a historic reversal of what the economistElaina Rose calls the "success" penalty for educated women. By2008, the percentage of college-educated white women ages 55 to 59who had never been married was down to 9 percent, just 3 pointshigher than their counterparts without college degrees. And amongwomen 35 to 39, there was no longer any difference in thepercentage who were married。
這個結果是對經濟學家埃萊納﹒羅斯稱為受過良好教育女性的“成功”懲罰的歷史性顛覆。截止到2008年，55歲至59歲的始終未婚的受過大學教育的白人女性比率已經下降到9%，衹比沒有大學學位的白人女性高3個點。而且，對於35歲至39歲的女性來說，有沒有受過大學教育不再有區別。
African-American women are less likely to marry than whitewomen overall, but educated black women are considerably morelikely to marry than their less-educated counterparts. As of 2008,70 percent of African-American female college graduates hadmarried, compared with 60 percent of high school graduates and just53 percent of high school dropouts。
總體來說，非裔美國女性結婚的比白人女性少，但與教育水平不太高的黑人女性相比，受到良好教育的黑人女性結婚的可能要大得多。自2008年以來，70%的非裔女大學生結婚了﹔相比之下，高中畢業的結婚率衹有60%﹔高中輟學的則衹有53%。
One reason educated heterosexual women may worry about theirmarriage prospects today is that overall marriage rates have beenslipping since 1980. But they have slipped less for educated womenthan for anyone else. Furthermore, college-educated women, oncethey do marry, are much less likely to divorce. As a result, by age30, and especially at ages 35 and 40, college-educated women aresignificantly more likely to be married than any other group. Andaccording to calculations by the economist Betsey Stevenson, aneducated woman still single at age 40 is much more likely to marryin the next decade than her less educated counterparts。
如今受到良好教育的異性戀女性對婚姻前景擔心的一個原因是，1980年以來總體的結婚率一直在下降。但與其它人群相比，受到良好教育的女性結婚率下降較小。而且，一旦受過大學教育的女性結婚了，就不太可能離婚。結果，30歲左右，特別是在35至40歲期間，受大學教育的女性比其它人更有可能結婚。根據經濟學家貝特西﹒史蒂文森的測算，與受到教育不太高的女性相比，40歲仍單身的受到良好教育的女性在下一個10年結婚的可能性會加大。
Even for women who don't marry, it's better to be educated; a2002 study found that never-married white women with more educationthan average lived "the longest, healthiest lives of allgroups."
甚至對未結婚的女性來說，受教育也是好事﹔2002年的一份研究指出，在所有人中，受教育水平高於普通人的終身未嫁的白人女性“活得時間最長，生活也最健康”。
ONE of the dire predictions about educated women is true:today, more of them are "marrying down." Almost 30 percent of wivestoday have more education than their husbands, while less than 20percent of husbands have more education than their wives, almostthe exact reverse of the percentages in 1970.
有個關於受教育女性的可怕預測現在成事實了：如今很多受到良好教育的女性“下嫁”了。現在約有30%的妻子的教育水平比他們的丈夫高，而丈夫學歷高於妻子的不足20%，這基本上與1970年的情況完全相反。
But there is not a shred of evidence that such marriages areany less satisfying than marriages in which men have equal orhigher education than their wives. Indeed, they have many benefitsfor women。
但是沒有絲毫的證據說明這樣的婚姻沒有男性學位高於(或等於)妻子的那樣令人滿意。實際上對女性有很多好處。
In a forthcoming paper from the Council on ContemporaryFamilies, Oriel Sullivan, a researcher at Oxford University,reports that the higher a woman's human capital in relation to herhusband ─ measured by her educational resources and earningspotential ─ the more help with housework she actually gets from hermate. The degree to which housework is shared is now one of the twomost important predictors of a woman's marital satisfaction. Andhusbands benefit too, since studies show that women feel moresexually attracted to partners who pitch in。
哈佛大學研究員奧瑞兒﹒沙利文(Oriel Sullivan)在《當代家庭協會》發表的一篇論文稱，與丈夫相比，女性的人力資本(用教育資源和可能的收入來衡量)越多，干家務時伴侶給予她的幫助也就越多。家務被分擔的程度是現在兩個最重要的估計女性婚姻狀況的指標之一。而且，這也有利於男性，因為研究顯示女性對教育水平不高的伴侶更有性吸引力。
Speaking of which, educated wives also get better sex,whatever their partner's educational level, according to thesexuality researchers Pepper Schwartz and Virginia Rutter. They aremore likely to receive as well as give oral sex, to use a greatervariety of sexual positions and to experience orgasmregularly。
提到這一點，性研究員佩珀﹒施瓦茲(Pepper Schwartz) and弗吉尼亞﹒瑞特( VirginiaRutter)認為受到良好教育的妻子的性生活更加和諧，而不論他們伴侶的教育水平如何。他們更願意口交或被口交，更可能使用多種體位和經常達到性高潮。
Certainly, some guys are still threatened by a woman'sachievements. But scaring these types off might be a good thing.The men most likely to feel emotional and physical distress whentheir wives have a higher status or income tend to be those who aremore invested in their identity as breadwinners than as partnersand who define success in materialistic ways. Both these traits areassociated with lower marital quality. Few women really want tomarry a man whose penis rises and falls in tandem with the size ofhis paycheck or the prestige of his diploma。
當然，有些男人也會受不了女人的成就。但是把這類男人嚇跑也許是件好事。當妻子的地位或收入超過自己時，他們的身心很可能會沮喪，而且他們往往認為自己是家庭的支柱而不是伴侶，他們往往用物質的方式定義成功。這兩種品質與低質量的婚姻是聯繫在一起的。錢包鼓、學歷高的時候，那話兒就豎起來了，否則就蔫下去了，這樣的男人是沒有女人真正願意嫁的。
Yet when the journalist Liza Mundy interviewed young women forher forthcoming book on female breadwinners, she found that mostwanted a mate they could "look up to" or "admire" ─ and didn'tthink they could admire a man who was less educated than they were.During a talk I recently gave to a women's group in San Francisco,an audience member said, "I want him to respect what I know, but Ialso want him to know just a little more than me." One of mystudents once told me, "it's exciting to be a bit in awe of aguy."
但是當她為新書采訪一些女性家庭支柱時，記者麗莎﹒曼迪(Liza Mundy) 發現絕大數人都希望找個可以“ 仰望 ”或“羡慕”的對象，不希望他們羡慕的人受到的教育比不上自己。最近在舊金山跟一個女性團體談話時，一名觀眾說，“我希望他尊重我知道的東西，而且我還希望他知道的比我多。”有個學生也曾經告訴我，“對一個人有點敬畏也是比較有趣的。”
For a century, women have binged on romance novels thatencouraged them to associate intimidation with infatuation; it's nowonder that this emotional hangover still lingers. Valentine's Dayis a perfect time to reject the idea that the ideal man is taller,richer, more knowledgeable, more renowned or more powerful. Themost important predictor of marital happiness for a woman is nothow much she looks up to her husband but how sensitive he is to heremotional cues and how willing he is to share the housework andchild-care. And those traits are often easier to find in a low-keyguy than a powerhouse。
愛情小說常讓人將崇拜、敬畏當成了喜歡，而一個世紀以來，女性都喜歡讀這些小說。這種情感需求還是會遺留在腦際的。理想的男人應該是更高大的、更富有的、更有知識的、更加出名的或者更加強勁的。情人節是抵制這些觀點的最佳時機。女人婚姻幸福最重要的一個因素不是她多么仰慕丈夫，而是丈夫對妻子的情感暗示有多敏感，有多願意分擔家務和照看孩子。而且與強人相比，這些品質在不打眼的人身上會更容易被發現。
I am not arguing that women ought to "settle." I am arguingthat we can now expect more of a mate than we could when wedepended on men for our financial security, social status and senseof accomplishment. But that requires ditching the Lois Lanesyndrome, where we ignore the attractions and attention of ClarkKent because we're so eager for the occasional fly-by fromSuperman。
我並不是說女人應該“湊合”過下去。除了依賴男人獲得經濟支撐、社會地位和成就感之外，我覺得從男人身上可以獲得更多其它東西。但這需要擺脫路易斯﹒萊恩(LoisLane)綜合癥，因為它讓我們忽略了克拉克﹒肯特的魅力和關懷，因為我們太渴望見到身邊偶爾飛過的超人。