I was approached by a neighbor who was seeking some advice concerning counseling. He was asking me about different types of counseling and where to go.
After visiting for a few minutes I asked him what his goals were or what he would like to accomplish by going to counseling. His response caught my attention when he said, “I don’t really think I need to go to counseling. My fiancee wants me to go and fix a few things about myself she doesn’t like before we get married.”
While I know my neighbor has good intentions regarding his fiancee’s request to go to counseling, my concern is that his thought process surrounding counseling was out of balance.
Why should you seek professional counseling?
According to Dr. Gail Robinson, past president of the American Counseling
Association, people who are having trouble at work, can’t concentrate or are in pain most likely would benefit from counseling. Dr. Robinson also points out that you don’t want to wait until you are at the end of your rope to seek out help. By seeking counseling earlier you may avoid pain and grief you don’t have to go through.
The American Counseling Association also suggests seeking a counselor when you’re feeling overwhelmed or experiencing emotional distress. Trained counselors can offer you guidance and compassion to see you through difficult situations as well as give you tools to cope with the stresses of life.
Dr. William King, mental health counselor, said that, “If someone is questioning if they should go into counseling that is probably the best indicator that they should."
What are the reasons people go to counseling and the reasons they don’t?
Obviously there are a variety of reasons why people seek out counseling. They may be experiencing grief, emotional pain, post-traumatic stress disorder, eating disorders, anger-management issues, compulsive behavior, marriage or relationship challenges, parenting issues and a variety of mental health conditions.
Regardless of the reason, people that need counseling often don’t seek help because of a variety of barriers: counseling may be too expensive; fear of judgment or people finding out; counseling may be a sign of weakness among your peers or family members; or you don’t know where to go for counseling.
Once you move past the barriers, having a positive attitude about counseling can be a very useful tool. Dr. Cherly MacDonald, of Health Psychology of San Diego, said,
“Some clients have feelings associated with anxiety mixed with the possibility of hope in removing or finding new ways to cope with the problem. The anxiety is often about how they think they will be judged by the therapist. The hope is related (to) having a positive attitude about their future ability to achieve success with managing the problem.”
I like that Dr. MacDonald incorporates hope with having a positive attitude. Counseling can be such an amazing tool in for your life, especially if you approach it with hope in one pocket and a positive attitude in the other.