We just knew it: Gift giving — and receiving — is about emotion, not money. According to USA Today, a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that while recipients are happier with gifts they have specifically asked for, givers believe that the gifts they have picked out on their own are seen as more considerate and better appreciated.
One woman quoted in the report said that each year she has great plans for what she would like to do for people, but she’s usually frantic and in a panic as Christmas nears. “So I end up buying what people tell me they want,” said Ashley Delahunty. “It’s practical but takes the surprise and fun out of it.”
Another woman we read about was always thrilled with the gifts her husband gave her, exclaiming as she opened each one, “Just what I wanted!” The catch is that each was just what she wanted — accomplished with ease because she picked out her own gifts, wrapped them and simply signed his name to the card.
Isn’t opening the package part of the fun, especially after days of wondering what’s inside that box you’re dying to shake? We always thought so.
But we will bow to science, since giving is “almost more about the giver” than the recipient, according to Tina Lowrey, a marketing professor in Texas. To support that theory, here are the five categories of gifters that a panel of psychologists created. Which one describes you the best?
- The Procrastinator: People who typically put off shopping don’t always do so because they don’t care about the gift but because they care so much they are worried about making a mistake. There’s so much pressure to get the “perfect gift” that waiting — and presumably settling for something less than perfect because of less selection — gives them an excuse.
- The Planner. These people do their shopping year-round and keep a running list. Of course, all we planners have experienced the same downfall to this theory: forgetting where a gift is stored. But it’s still a good way to not only alleviate the anxiety of the right gift in a crunch but spreads out spending during the year instead of breaking the bank or running up big bills once a year.
- The Practical: These givers go straight for the rack of gift cards or to the bank for crisp cash. Researchers claim it’s a technique usually used for a recipient one doesn’t know very well. Gifts are supposed to be special. Gifts shouldn’t be a way to fulfill a “social obligation.” Why spend money on someone you don’t know well enough to even have a hint what he or she might like?
- The Do-Gooder. These folks do something good but not always by keeping the recipient in mind. If you make a donation to a charity in someone else’s name as a gift, remember it should be to a charity the recipient supports, not to a cause that’s your pet project. The gift isn’t supposed to be about the giver.
And then there is the person who not only enjoys shopping , but most of all, gets pleasure out of picking out special things (sometimes even inexpensive) for the people he or she loves.
It may not be as practical as cash, but showing someone you care should require thought, not just a healthy wallet.