What do men really want? Women who aren’t too successful, study shows

Your partner might not be as eager to see you succeed as you think, according to a new study from the American Psychological Association — at least that’s the case if you’re a woman and your significant other is a man.

In a study published earlier this month in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology online, researchers found that men feel subconsciously worse about themselves when a female partner thrives. Yet women’s self-esteem was not influenced by their male partners’ successes or failures.

“It makes sense that a man might feel threatened if his girlfriend outperforms him in something they’re doing together, such as trying to lose weight,” said the study’s lead author, Kate Ratliff, PhD, of the University of Florida in a news release. “But this research found evidence that men automatically interpret a partner’s success as their own failure, even when they’re not in direct competition.”

Researchers interviewed 896 people in heterosexual relationships in the U.S. and Netherlands, conducting five experiments. They also found that women who were in relationships with successful men were more optimistic about their partnership continuing five years. Men in relationships with women who were thought of as successful were less likely to believe their partnership would continue in five years into the future.

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