I sat down with Boudewyn, Evans and Charlotte Managing Director David Parker before the presentation to learn more about how they help families manage and keep their fortunes.

On the fatal sequence:

Seventy percent of wealthy families fail to pass the wealth past the third generation. Boudewyn and Evans would like their clients to fall in the other 30%.

“Unfortunately, what happens in people, what happens in families and what has already happened to Greece is they become self-centered, apathetic and later complacency gives way to dependency,” Evans said.

A self-made man is aware of the hard work that went into building that wealth, but as generations pass and heirs become accustomed to wealth, the fortune is at risk of being lost, Evans said.

“This happens like clockwork,” he said. “If you are a native to wealth, you are battling a sense of self-centeredness. If that mindset prevails, it does not matter what the size of the estate is — it will dissipate.”

To avoid that fate, Wells Fargo’s chief historian, Andy Anderson, will come in and map out wealthy families’ stories. Boudewyn will then present those detailed family trees at family retreats.

“It’s important for third and fourth generations to get a sense of how that wealth was created,” Boudewyn said.

On ‘defanging the animal’:

Abbot Downing has 600 clients across the country. Sixty of those wealthy families live in North Carolina.

Regional teams work with those families to manage and invest their wealth. Boudewyn and his team of psychologists see 120 of the families around the country in a given year. They help them create mission statements, a vision and, in some cases, a governing body to oversee the family estate.

Evans said some self-made clients have a hard time using cautious investment tactics. They are used to high-risk careers such as commercial real estate that brought them vast wealth in a “high-wire” environment.

“That profile may not be the right thing to do if we are talking about your kids and grandkids,” Evans said. “How do you tone that down? How do you defang that animal so it can be a bit more pedestrian, so it doesn’t really hurt the assets and prevent what could have been a dynasty?”

That’s when Boudewyn helps the client realize that to preserve assets for future generations, he or she may have to change behavior.

“You hold up a mirror and help the patient know thyself,” Evans said. “That’s where a psychologist is incredibly helpful.”

On how a psychologist ended up at a bank:

Boudewyn never thought he would end up at a bank when he was earning his Ph.D.

“My dad has laughed, though,” Boudewyn said. “He was with BofA for 25 years. It’s a bit of the apple not falling far from the tree. I still found a way with completely different training and background to end up at a bank.”

Boudewyn came up through the corporate HR side of Wells Fargo.

“It brings together all the elements of my training, plus my HR background,” Boudewyn said. “It’s been very rewarding.”