To cuddle or not to cuddle? The pros and cons of ‘sleep divorces’

ATLANTA -
Do you remember when you first met your significant other? How you would fall asleep in each other's arms, ending up entangled and snuggled up by morning. These days it seems more and more people are sleeping “other” cheek-to-cheek, on opposite ends of the bed, and as many as 25% of us are snoozing in different beds entirely. The syndrome is called “Sleep Divorce.”

Dr. Michael Breus is a clinical psychologist and a diplomat of the American Board of Sleep Medicine. According to him, the question of whether to sleep in the same bed or apart is something couples ask about a lot. He recently talked about the syndrome in an article published in Psychology Today.

“This is a number that has been on the rise in recent years,” claimed Breus. “What's more, the residential construction industry in recent years has reported a substantial uptick in requests for 2 separate master bedrooms in new homes.”

So what is behind the drive for couples to sleep in different beds? Breus says there are a few factors that have people considering separate bedrooms such as different schedules, sleep disruptions such as apnea and snoring, poor sleep environments, and different sleep habits like staying up late to watch TV or surf the net.

“Sleep is so important. And if you're really not sleeping well together, it's going to have an impact on your relationship. It really is,” said Dr. Carol Ash, director of sleep medicine at Meridian Health in an interview with ‘Fox and Friends.' “So it's a problem for many couples. I mean think about it, you get up the next day, you're cranky.”

And Breus agrees. He claimed not only does poor sleep have negative effects on relationships, but also points to a study that showed that lack of sleep diminishes the positive feeling we have for our partners.

“Researchers found people with lower quality sleep demonstrated lower levels of gratitude and were more likely to have feelings of selfishness than those who slept well,” said Breus. “People who slept poorly showed less of a sense of appreciation for their partners. What's more, poor sleep on the part of one person in the relationship had a negative effect on feelings of appreciation and gratitude for both partners.”

However, some have questioned if sleeping in separate beds would kill intimacy from a marriage. One couple reported making sure they still maintain that aspect of their marriage before turning in for the night.

However Breus suggests a few things to consider before you part ways in a “sleep divorce.” He recommends trying to “marry” your sleeping habits. If you tend to fight over the mattress, try a newer one that can be customized by temperature and firmness based on each person's preference. If one of you is an early riser and the other is a late owl, try to find a middle ground.

“Here is one great way to simplify your bedroom habits: remove the electronics. Televisions, computers and cell phones have no place in a restful bedroom,” said Breus. “Both the light they emit and the stimulation they provide are disruptive for sleep. Bedrooms are for sleep and sex.”

Just like any other part of a successful relationship, sleeping arrangements can be full of give, take and compromise. And I'm sure there isn't a one-size-fits-all solution for everyone contemplating a restful night's sleep. But I do know thinking about all this sleeping has made me ready to crawl into bed and sack out!

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