Q. I have a tendency to be depressed, but I get even more depressed as soon as Thanksgiving is over and people start the Christmas holidays. Everyone always seems so happy except me. I’m alone, and it seems that even my family forgets that I exist. Can you give me some advice from a psychologist’s perspective? I’ve read the silly magazine suggestions.

A. Holiday depression happens to many people, especially those who have no children or children who live far away. Also, if you are a religion other than Christian or have no religious beliefs, Christmas can be a distressing time of year.

Many of us have seen too many Christmas movies, too many Currier and Ives prints, and too many Normal Rockwell pictures. We are led to believe that the holidays should be a time with the family together; everyone is smiling and everyone is happy. Most of our lives are not like that, nor have they ever been.

To improve your spirit not just at Christmas but throughout the year, I would suggest that you begin with the website “Authentic Happiness” established by Martin Seligman, Ph.D., the director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania. You can take a series of online tests that will identify areas of your life that are preventing you from feeling positive. The information on the website will give you suggestions for decreasing your depression and increasing your happiness throughout the year.

There are several quick exercises that Seligman suggests that may be immediately beneficial. First, he encourages people to focus on “the pleasant life.” As an exercise, map out an ideal day for yourself, live it, and enjoy every minute. If you want to go away for a weekend, visit someone far away, or just stay home, quit making excuses and do it. Don’t listen to others telling you what you “should” do. Never let anyone tell you that you “should” be happy at Christmas. You have a right to your own feelings, as do they.

Second, Seligman suggests that individuals seek “the good life.” As an exercise, identify and use your strengths. If you enjoy cooking, make soup for some of your friends who may have to work extra hours. If you would enjoy photography, the holiday season presents wonderful opportunities to take interesting pictures.

Third, Seligman suggests that individuals focus on “the meaningful life.” This involves getting out of self and doing something good for others. As an exercise, you can tutor children, volunteer at a local charity, or choose to do many other jobs that are needed in all communities during the Christmas season.

These suggestions will not only help you overcome the holiday depression, but they will help you year round to have a more fulfilling life. To find out more about positive psychology, you may also want to check out Seligman’s book, “Authentic Happiness.”

As someone who isn’t crazy about Christmas, I like to celebrate it the way my Jewish friends in New York do, dinner at a Chinese Restaurant and a movie. It works for me and a multitude of New Yorkers.

— Nancy Ryburn holds a doctorate degree in psychology from Yeshiva University in New York City. She currently teaches psychology at Southeast Arkansas College. If you have questions, e-mail them to nancyryburn@gmail.com