Dear Readers,

On Wednesday of this week in my Introduction to Psychology class, the topic Motivation and Emotion was presented to my students.

Several theories on the said topic were expanded and the sub topic of Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation was introduced.

A scholarly discussion ensued. To my pleasant amazement (I always remind them to read more and be aware of current events), they were able to identify local and national people and events who they thought exhibited examples of intrinsic and extrinsic "giving," all in the name of philanthropy.

I agreed with many of their choices and commended them on a job well done.

During the drive from the College of the Bahamas' campus to the downtown area, being a creature of habit, I listened attentively to the evening news as I marveled at God's natural blessings to The Bahamas.

I almost ran off the road as an interview highlighted a story where our children were being described as "wayward" by a local (expatriate) philanthropist. I was disappointed and saddened.

My college students were correct; people need to pay attention to their motives.

Many persons have come (and continue to come) to our shores and have blessed our people with gifts and tokens; for this we are eternal grateful.

However, if people are bearing gifts with the wrong motives, then I do think we have a problem.

When donations are made "to assist our children," in the same conversation where the children are being described as "wayward," then I say keep your tokens.

The word wayward means willful, perverse deviation from what is desired or expected, disobedient, unruly or turning away from what is proper.

To use this term to describe our children implies that our children are inherently corrupt. In fact, it seems to suggest that they are deprived of care and direction.

As one who works with children daily, I would be the first to admit that too many of our children are not as holistically evolved as we would like them to be, but we work very diligently in ensuring that they get on the right track in developing the potentials of which God has gifted them.

We do this by expelling the negative stereotypes, building self esteems, using encouraging words, providing their needs, praying, using positive words to describe them, correcting behaviours, assisting parents and most importantly, showing them love and care. To call our children wayward is a national offence.

They are not wayward they are our children and our future.

Intrinsic Motives are actions that come from the inside.

This is doing something because you want to do it; engaging in something of expectations of enjoyment.

Extrinsic Motives are actions that sometimes someone makes you do; engaging in behavior out of expectations of reward.

It is always suggested to examine your motives. Please do not feel obligated to take care of our children.

We are Bahamians who have a natural will to survive. We also have our pride.

Every nation is responsible for caring for its people.

To those of you who would have supported our children in the past with intrinsic intents, we applaud your efforts highly and thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Dr. Pam

Point to Ponder: "Children are a gift from God; let's show Him we appreciate the gift."

Ask Doctor Pam is an advice column that is featured every Saturday in this journal.

Your letters and comments are encouraged. You may email your letters or comments toaskdoctorpam@yahoo.com, or write to Askdoctorpam P.O. Box F43736. Dr. Pam is a Clinical Psychologist trained in all areas of mental health.