The psychology of what makes us crazy at Christmas

Christmas is starting earlier and stressed adults are paying the price.

Christmas is starting earlier and stressed adults are paying the price.

The seemingly innocuous task of shopping has the power to turn your average person into an aggressive monster or an anxious heap at Christmas - but why?

Christmas is supposed to be a time to relax and spend time with loved ones but mounting emotional and financial pressure take a heavy toll.

New Zealand College of Clinical Psychologists president Deb Moore explains why Christmas shopping drives us nuts.

The media's portrayal of the perfect Christmas adds to the pressure.

The media's portrayal of the "perfect" Christmas adds to the pressure.

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What is it about Christmas that triggers that strange festive season behaviour?

Christmas is generally a stressful time with lots of end of year pressures, Moore says.

New Zealand College of Clinical Psychologists president Deb Moore says it's important to instill a spirit of community and empathy in children buy giving to things like Christmas Tree appeals.

New Zealand College of Clinical Psychologists president Deb Moore says it's important to instill a spirit of community and empathy in children buy giving to things like Christmas Tree appeals.

Demands like end-of-year functions and extra requirements like buying a last-minute present or bringing a plate add to the pressure.

Christmas functions are starting earlier, which prolongs the pain, and there always seems to be extra work to do before the holidays.

Schools and childcares close down, which means parents are also juggling their children and then there's the pressure of extra travel to visit family and friends of the expectation to host people at home.

For children, time and attention is more important than presents.

For children, time and attention is more important than presents.

There is also increasing pressure to create the "perfect" Christmas portrayed in the media.

A lot of this marketing is aimed at children, who put pressure on parents to create this ideal.

Family dynamics don't help the situation, Moore says.

It's meant to be a time for family but this can cause stress, especially for separated families with children going between parents.

And it wouldn't be Christmas without a bit of competition between family members when it comes to gifts and hosting.

Moore says the recent habit of emailed annual letters can also be competitive and create an impression that everyone else has perfect lives, families and children.

This can affect people who are trying to cope with challenges in their own lives.

For many Christmas is a lonely time that triggers the past - losses, regrets, sense of failure, sadness, and grief for family members or a way of life no longer present.

Add the effects of Christmas excesses, particularly alcohol use, and you've got the perfect cocktail for holiday stress.

So what causes Christmas anxiety? 

Feeling pressured to get everything done, along with high expectations when you're short of time kicks things off.

And leaving shopping until the last minute means having to deal with crowds, queues, shortages, disappointment and financial pressures.

Emotional states including sadness, guilt, regret, low self-esteem and pressure to over-spend, followed by guilt or avoidance also brought on anxiety.

What causes aggression and anger?

Many of the same things trigger anger as anxiety but different personality types react in different ways.

All these pressures turn minor things into irritations, More says.

Things like trying to find a parking space, queues, waiting, what is wanted being sold out or unavailable.

Pressures from finances, especially for those who are unemployed or low income earners exacerbate the situation.

How do people react to these pressures?

The most common things people do when they are overwhelmed by holiday pressures are overspend, buy things they don't want or need, drink to excess and people vulnerable to mental illness may become unwell.

Are things getting worse?

People's expectations have changed over the years - Christmas has come a more lavish affair for many.

Pressure from advertising is building earlier in the year and is increasingly aimed at children.

Businesses that have had a tough year use Christmas as a way to recover from poor financial performance by starting Christmas specials earlier.

For others experiencing unemployment or lower incomes, physical or mental ill health, Christmas is far more stressful.

It is especially hard for especially for parents who can't give their children the Christmas they would like.

So, how can people avoid getting bogged down in Christmas mayhem?

The easiest way is to plan ahead, use a list, buy wisely, get items in sales through the year and hide them away.

Plan a budget and keep to it, shop in the quieter times and preferably without children.

Moore says there are many ways to celebrate Christmas less expensively by planning creatively.

Many families come up with strategies to reduce Christmas mayhem, such as a monetary limit on presents.

Buy practical, useful presents for the whole family rather than luxury items.

Vouchers for time, attention and activities are another great idea.

Remember that small children get as much fun and enjoyment from wrapping paper, balloons and boxes - what they really love is time and attention.

It is also important to raise children to have awareness and compassion for others.

This could be fostered by donating toys to community present appeals or sponsoring those less fortunate.

And remember to share the load at Christmas when it comes to things like cooking and cleaning.


 - Stuff

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