Because all *good* publications provide some sort of service, Spectrum has, against its true nature, decided to be helpful: we’re making study guides. In the first of our series, Veronica Taleon walks us through that must-take freshman class, Intro to Psych.
It’s that time of year: Although it seemed like your Intro to Psychology class would be the perfect hour and fifteen to catch up on some much needed RR at the beginning of the semester, you’ve just come to the cruel realization that this is not a sustainable endeavor. You’ve got a test to take. While you were shopping online, a class was actually being taught. And now you have to magically learn all that class stuff.
If it’s the night before your midterm and you still don’t know the difference between an Oedipus Complex and Pavlov’s Dog, here are a few simple steps to get you to an all-encompassing knowledge of psychology.
via giphy.com
1.) Start off by opening that all-too-familiar Netflix tab. Search: Psych. Watch the first episode… wait, this is about a pseudo Psychic, not Psychology. Ah well, it’d be rude to not at least finish the first season now that you’ve started.
2.) Spend the next hour taking a wide array of BuzzFeed personality quizzes. The results from selections such as “What Job Would You Have in ‘Orange is the New Black’?” and “Are You More Chanel Oberlin or Chanel Simmons” can can actually tell you a lot about personality types. Close enough to the Big Five...
3.) Station yourself at the top of Low Steps with highlighter and textbook in hand. Just as you are about to display some form of productivity — finally — the cute boy you’ve been eying during lab for the past three weeks sits next to you. You spend so much time ogling over his charm, witticisms, etc., that you don’t even realize this is the real world application of the Halo Effect.
4.) Get back on that computer and take a super-accurate online Myers-Briggs Test. You’re an ESFJ? No way, the aforementioned boy, your soulmate, looks just like one, too. You’re totally compatible.
via giphy.com
5.) While you’re still online, might as well check in on Netflix again to make sure that they haven’t uploaded any new Grey’s Anatomy episodes. Oh look! How I Met Your Mother! Now when was the last time you had a HIMYM marathon? Before you know it, another three hours have elapsed and you’ve diagnosed all of your favorite TV show and movie characters with various personality disorders. Regina George of Mean Girls and Ryan Howard of The Office = narcissistic personality disorder? I bet you never thought you’d hear those two names in the same sentence.
7.) Wait, could this “binge” be the beginning of an addiction? Maybe you should check the definition of addictive behavior again… or maybe you should stage your own intervention.
via giphy.com
8.) Screw it, you’re in too deep already.
9.) Damn. You’re meant to be studying. Ok, how about revising those research methods you went over in that first lecture? Engage in Pig Latin conversations with your floor-mates; record how long it takes each of them to catch on, (that’s the dependent variable, right?); note for the presence of emotions like frustration, irritation, wanting-to-murder-you, etc. Maybe your prof will give you extra credit for the field work.
10.) Oh! You just remembered to revise attention disorders. Oh wait look! A HIMYM episode you seem to have missed...ha
11.) Call it a day and hit the hay. At least you’ll have a firm understanding of the id overriding your better judgement.