I recently came across the video, The Innovation of Loneliness, by Shimi Cohen, which explores how loneliness continues to run rampant in Western culture despite the seemingly infinite technological means we now have for social connection.  Inspired by psychologist Sherry Turkle’s book, Alone Together, the video highlights some valid points about the counterintuitive nature of social networking technology.

The video compares online social networking to “collecting friends like stamps […] converting the deep meaning and intimacy of friendship with exchanging photos and chat conversations.” The narrator in the video elaborates:

“By doing so we’re sacrificing conversation for mere connection and so a paradoxical situation is created in which we claim to have many friends while actually being lonely […] instead of building true friendships, we’re obsessed with endless personal promotion […] we’re expecting more from technology and less from each other […] we slip into thinking that always being connected is going to make us feel less alone but we are at risk because the opposite is true.”  

Consistent with the notions in Cohen’s video, a research study conducted by Dr. David Houghton found that excessive photo sharing and sharing photos of a certain type online may lead to being less liked by people in real life, as written in a recent article by Ryan Grenoble.  The article quotes Dr. Houghton; “Increased frequency of sharing photographs of the self, regardless of the type of target sharing the photographs, is related to a decrease in intimacy.”

The consensus appears to be that somehow, these innovations – despite being designed to bring us closer together – actually end up getting in the way of intimacy and authentic connection.  Subsequently, we have begun to develop a preference for experience through technology over the experience itself.

This phenomenon isn’t newly charted territory. In fact, as it has also been pointed out, an episode of Seinfeld unintentionally spoke to the phenomenon of social networking several years prior to its invention.  At the beginning of an episode, Jerry briefly discusses leaving answering machine messages – which seems interestingly similar to how people tend to go about social networking.  He notes:

“So here what we have is two people – hate each other, don’t really ever want to talk – but the phone machine is like this relationship respirator keeping these marginal brain-dead relationships alive. And we all do it – why? So that when we come home you can see that little flashing red light. You go, ‘all right, messages!’ You see – people need that – it’s very important for human beings to feel they are popular and well-liked amongst a large group of people that we don’t care for.”

More recently, Southpark covered this topic in the episode, “You Have 0 Friends,” in which all of the characters become engrossed in the Facebook universe except for Stan, who Cartman and Kyle create a Facebook page for, much to his chagrin.  As his number of Facebook friends increases, people begin to approach Stan in person about Facebook-related issues and requests.  It begins gradually with his dad sheepishly asking to add him as a friend, and Wendy being irritated about his relationship status.  Soon enough, random people on the street are saying things to him like, “Hey I commented on your status but haven’t heard back from you. Could you give me a poke sometime soon?”

Through the increasingly outlandish plot, show creators, Matt Stone and Trey Parker illustrate an exaggerated version of what we see every day in our online social networks; namely, people treating their actual lives merely as a platform to communicate things about Facebook. Take, for example, the following discussion between Kyle and Stan:

Kyle: I really need a friend right now.

Stan: Ok dude, I’m here for you.

Kyle: So then get on Facebook and fertilize my crops?

Towards the end of the episode – like most Southpark episodes – the storyline reaches absurdity, and Stan is literally sucked into the world of Facebook, which bears a striking resemblance to the movie, Tron.  Similarly, our rapidly evolving world of social networking technology continues to catch up with reality. We are able to post and view virtually all of our moments, thoughts, and feelings in real time and high-resolution.  And while this affords us many different ways of capturing moments, staying in touch, and meeting new people, the more we focus on social networks like Facebook, the further we get from the actual people they are supposed to connect us to.  So perhaps – more than the existence of Facebook itself – our vulnerability to the “common ailment” of loneliness depends on whether we treat online social networking as the means or as the end.

photo credit: wikipedia

 

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    Last reviewed: 11 Nov 2013