I’m going to come in last.

That’s not just me being pessimistic, either. Based on the laws of physics, mathematics and Murphy, Margaret Moffett Banks will finish last in the Greensboro Freedom Run 10K on June 30.

No, I am not OK with that.

We’ll get to the psychology. But first: the science.

We’ve established I’m slow. I proffer new evidence: On May 20, I ran a 5K in Myrtle Beach with the express purpose of finishing in 40 minutes. My time: 40:04. Not terrible. A pace of 12:54, right?

Yeah, on an unbelievably flat course. The steepest “hill?” A cricket on a manhole cover.

The Freedom Run is twice as long, and winds through hilly Irving Park. It’s a hard, hot, serious run that doesn’t draw dabblers or slowpokes.

I hope to finish in 90 minutes, an average pace of 14:29 miles. My hopes will be dashed. I’ve never run 6 miles that fast. Not even after I was bitten by that radioactive cheetah. It’ll be more like 15:00 – which means finishing in 93 minutes.

No one ran the 2009 Freedom Run 10K that slowly. A handful did in 2010 and 2011. Guess what: They’re not coming this time. You know why? Because they finished LAST.

Which leads to a logical question: Why do I care? Why obsess over the 600 or so runners who will beat me on June 30? Why not, instead, focus on the 750,000 people in the Greensboro Diaspora who won’t run a lick that day? Am I not doing something greater – even in ignominy?

Sorry. That’s not how the ole self-esteem engine chugs. Not mine, at any rate.

No, I’m coming in last in the Fun Fourth. And I’m not OK with that.