Protect children from news shows

While the Friday massacre of helpless young children and adults was deeply troubling for many people, news of this kind can be particularly scary for children. Child psychology experts advise parents to let children guide the conversation, answer questions matter-of-factly and keep children away from media coverage of the shootings.

That is particularly important for younger children, said Judith Thompson, coordinator of counseling / psychology and community outreach for Worcester public schools.

“People don’t realize, when kids see this over and over again, they think it’s happening again and again,” she said.

Maria Kalpidou, a child developmental psychologist who is an associate professor of psychology at Assumption College, said different ages call for different approaches. A 5-year-old, she said, “is still in the magical years.” If they learn of the tragedy and have a particular fear, they might benefit from drawing their fear and then shredding the drawing with their parent, she said.

Older children can handle more. “When my sixth-grader came home, we watched the speech of the president together, and we shed a few tears, and she asked me about where was the gunman. She felt good when she knew he was gone and that police were there to protect the people, and then she was off,” Ms. Kalpidou said.

She said helping children realize how unlikely an event like the shooting is can also help, although it can be hard for younger children to understand the concept of chance. She suggested visualizing a giant gumball machine filled with yellow gumballs and a single red gumball, and then contemplating the unlikelihood that any one child would get that red ball.

Distraction and routine can also help, and it might be appropriate to acknowledge the event as part of a family’s daily rituals, like adding a thought for the victims to nightly prayers, Ms. Kalpidou said.

The National Association of School Psychologists has a tip sheet for parents and teachers about how to talk to children about violence. The association’s recommendations include:

Reassure children that they are safe. Let children talk about their feelings, help put them into perspective, and help children express their feelings appropriately.

Make time to talk. Let the child’s questions be your guide.

Keep your explanations developmentally appropriate. Early elementary school children need simple information and reassurances, like examples of school safety such as locked outside doors. Upper elementary and early middle school children might need assistance separating reality from fantasy. Upper middle school and high school students might have strong opinions about what caused the violence, and adults can emphasize the role students have in maintaining safe schools.

Review safety procedures. Help children identify at least one adult at school and in the community to whom they can go if they feel threatened.

Observe children’s emotional state. Seek the help of a mental health professional if you are concerned.

Limit television viewing of the events. Be careful of what you discuss with other adults in front of children, even teenagers.

Maintain a normal routine. It can be reassuring and will help physical health.

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