Parents of girls more intolerant about love: Sociologists

These are some of those innocent 'lovers' who fell prey to their merciless kins, who sacrificed them on the altar of 'honour' - a murder they justified as saving face in caste and community.

These horrific incidents not only made headlines but also suggest an alarming situation: Is 'honour killing' slowly seeping in to Gujarat?

After studying this dangerous trend, sociologists and psychologists believe that parents of girls show more intolerance than those of boys. Driven by the fear of losing their reputation among other caste members, such parents turn violent. Pundits believe that clout of caste on our society, coupled with our utter dislike for the term 'love' is responsible for the intolerance and rage.

According to sociologist Gaurang Jani, 80% of honor killings are committed by parents and relatives of a girl, as they always feel they are at the 'receiving end' for the decision taken by their daughter. Jani also believe that parents don't want their daughters to take independent decisions, which lead to such murders."Caste factor is the biggest reason for such extreme steps. Parents fear that they will be ousted from their own caste and community, which has been a pillar of support to them" said Jani, who firmly believe that caste-based system is getting stronger by the day.

In his opinion, the identity of an average Indian still relies on his caste. "Instead of coming out from the age old system, we are inventing newer ways to fall pray to the system. You can spot more numbers of caste-based bride-groom selection functions in every city. Even websites are promoting this belief by launching caste and community specific matrimony websites," lamented Jani.

According to him, the education system also failed to spread awareness in the society, where love is still treated as a crime and a taboo subject.

"We don't teach Life Skills in our schools. We don't have counseling centres before or after marriage. Unlike the West, we don't have counseling centres for parents," said Jani, who also believe that India never got any social leader after Mahatma Gandhi who can guide the society.

Expressing similar concerns, psychologists blame 'male ego' for the honor killings. "Technological changes failed to change our age old beliefs. For many parents, especially a father, love marriage is still a forbidden word. If his daughter dares it, his male ego prompts him to take extreme steps in order to save face among his caste," said Dr Ashwin Jansari, head, department of Psychology, Gujarat University.

According to Sudhir Sinha, former police commissioner of Ahmedabad, people of Gujarat are comparatively more tolerant than their northern India counterparts. However, he believes that caste factor surely is the biggest culprit. "Even lack of education leads to intolerance to the bold decisions taken by their children," said Sinha, who now works as a member of the State Human Rights Commission.

Sinha believes that such incidents can be avoided by citizens as well as police jointly. "The killings can be avoided by the society. Neighbours or other relatives can approach the police to alert them. Police can book the suspects under IPC section 151 as preventive measure" said Sinha.

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