Hello, Arabian Business readers, I hope you all enjoyed a relaxing and fun summer and are ready for some brain blowing, mind boggling psychological revelations. OK, that might have been a bit exaggerated, but I’m here to share some juicy facts about my absolutely favourite subject: Psychology.

For me as a psychologist it’s always interesting to see people’s reactions when learning what I do for a living. Most people are curious and a bit cautious about my ability to read their minds (which I really can do, of course), some say it’s a bunch of nonsense, and I’ve had one or the other turn head over heels for the opposite direction. But most of the time I end up having profound conversations with strangers disclosing intimate aspects of their lives and problems.

While women generally tend to be more open to the idea of a science of personality and persona (but no: Psychology is NOT like astronomy. And no: Star signs are NOT causally linked to personality disorders), men resist the idea much more, usually stating that they would never go to a psychologist. Especially in the Middle East, the idea of speaking to a total stranger about your deepest thoughts, fears and weaknesses is particularly repellent to most men. First of all, men are raised to be tough leaders. If you break a leg, you just ‘walk it off’, and having a psychological problem is for sissies.

Secondly, Middle Eastern culture tends to be a very private matter, families try to manage their problems within their domestic circle and don’t carry them to strangers. And last but not least, psychology is one of the ‘softer’ sciences that hasn’t quite made it into the top ten disciplines of interest, with vague ideas and half-knowledge floating around making it hard to be taken seriously. 

But no matter how highly skilled, educated and talented a person might be, practically everyone is struggling with one or the other psychological issue. Psychological issues usually manifest themselves after adolescence: as a child, you develop communication and coping strategies that are crucial during your childhood in a family setting. As soon as you leave this environment and head out into the world, these strategies may prove dysfunctional or even damaging. If you have had a volatile father, for example, as a child it was crucial for you to stay quiet and “invisible” in order not to invoke his rage. In the business world, however, being timid and understated would be malapropos and more likely to get you pushed around and neglected.

Not only in a professional environment are psychological issues troubling. Stress at home with your partner, family or friends deeply affect how concentrated you are at work and how well you handle stress and critical situations. A friend recently mentioned that he can’t afford falling in love with the wrong person right now; a heartbreak would render him half as efficient as he needs to be at this point in his career.

Funny enough, the same people who tell me they definitely don’t need a shrink end up spilling their hearts out and asking me for advice.

The most important thing to understand is that seeking professional assistance in a psychological issue does not make you weak or mean you are sick. For heaven’s sake – you take your car to a repair shop instead of screwing around on the engine yourself, don’t you? There simply are social and mental skills psychologists are trained in and have studied for years that you might not even have heard of. But these skills can enhance the quality of your life and work in amazing ways. Did you know, for example, that if you bite on a pencil for a few minutes your mood brightens up? Your facial muscles give your brain the biofeedback that you are smiling, thus coaxing your brain into releasing the ‘happy’ hormone Dopamine.

Even if you should be diagnosed with a disorder such as depression, burnout or anxiety, it means that you finally know what you are dealing with! That is the first step in working your way back to health.

So, any time someone insists: “Of course I don’t need a shrink!” I say “Give it a try!”

The only thing you really need to know is that finding the right psychologist might not be a one-step process. If you have a throat ache, it doesn’t matter if you dislike your doctor. He prescribes you your medicine, khallas. But if you don’t like your psychologist, you won’t be able to open up, feel safe and trust the advice he or she is giving you. You are by no means obliged to keep seeing the first one you consulted. Please, be prepared to check out a few psychologists before it “clicks”. But once it does, please realize, that having therapy also means a bit of work… I like to compare it to hiring a personal trainer: they show you how to do the squats, but you have to squat yourself!

In the process of becoming a psychotherapist, I needed to do at least 30 hours of therapy myself. And let me tell you, I was confronted with some stuff I had suppressed for such a long time, I had forgotten it existed. But it had been influencing my choices in life in a negative way all the same. Learning about myself was one of the most rewarding journeys I’ve experienced, and I can only recommend it – from a client’s perspective.

* Silja Litvin has a a  Masters in Psychology and is currently working on a PhD in Psychology.