Q. I think my mother, who is in her late 70s, is showing signs of Alzheimer’s. She is increasingly forgetful, and has become negative and nasty. She was never like this. My two brothers think that there is nothing wrong with her because they only visit once or twice a month and then stay for an hour or two. I’m with her on an almost daily basis. How can I convince them that she has a problem that we need to address?

A. No one likes to see a parent age, and it is common for people to pretend that nothing is wrong until there are serious problems. I would suggest that you have a family meeting and document everything you have noticed.

It may help your case to go to the Alzheimer’s website, alz.org. The site lists 10 behaviors that are present in most people with dementia and how those behaviors differ from the normal aging process. Following is a list of five of the most recognizable signs:

1. Memory loss that disrupts daily life —- People with Alzheimer’s forget important events; they often ask the same questions over and over; and they may not remember recent information.

2. Challenges in planning or solving problems — Alzheimer’s patients may have difficulties following recipes, forgetting to lock the door or remembering to pay bills. They may forget the rules of their favorite game or the time their favorite television show airs.

3. New problems with words in speaking or writing — People with Alzheimer’s often have trouble following conversations. They may become repetitive, struggle with vocabulary and occasionally call an object the wrong word. For example, the bed may become “the thing we sleep on.”

4. Increasingly poor judgment — People with dementia often make poor financial decision, such as sending a big check to a televangelist. They may also use poor judgment in grooming and choice of clothes.

5. Changes in mood and personality — People with Alzheimer’s can become confused, suspicious, depressed, anxious and angry. When they are removed from their comfort zone, they can become easily upset. Alternatively, some patients, who have been vivacious in the past, will suddenly have little emotional affect.

If you can convince your siblings that there is a problem, then create a plan for helping your mother make changes. Each of you can help her with chores. You can insist that she ask friends to drive her places or help her with daily activities when you are not there. You need not confront her with her memory problem; rather blame the changes on “several recent accidents,” “a high crime rate” or “we are just worried about you.”

You may also call your mother’s doctor. Although he or she cannot discuss your mother’s condition without her permission, the doctor can listen to your concerns. Many times Alzheimer’s is missed by physicians because they only see people for a few moments. If the patient and family report that everything is fine, they have no way of knowing that there are mounting problems.

If your mother is not already doing so, I suggest that she see a gerontologist, a doctor who specializes in care of the elderly. Additionally, I would suggest that you contact the Alzheimer’s Association or call their 24 hour hotline at 1-800-272-3900. You can also sign up to receive a weekly e-newsletter about advances in Alzheimer’s care and research.

— Nancy Ryburn holds a doctorate degree in psychology from Yeshiva University in New York City. She now teaches psychology at Southeast Arkansas College and maintains a private practice. If you have questions, e-mail them to nancyryburn@gmail.com