Dear Editor: So how is the great University of Wisconsin doing these days? I can only offer anecdotal observations. They are producing psychology majors who can sit down by you in a tavern and in five minutes give you a diagnosis and a prognosis for whatever your mental condition might be.
One night a drunken young woman sat down to my right. I asked her if she'd like to trade places so she could talk to her friends. She declined. Then she said, "Do you know you have OCD?"
I said, "Yes, I have some old compact disks. How did you know that?"
She said, "No that's not what it means."
So I replied, "Well, I also have occupational collapse disorder. How did you know that?"
She said, "No, you're obsessive."
I asked, "What makes you think that?"
"By the way you fiddle with your beer coaster."
"No, that's just a nervous habit."
"No, you're in denial."
So I agreed that I'm in denial; otherwise, I'd prove her point.
"You must be a psychology major," I said.
She said yes, she's graduating in a few months.
"Then surely," I told her, 'you have read 'Gulliver's Travels' in your English class."
She said no. I said that's hard to believe. "You aren't truly educated if you haven't read that book, one of the great satires of English literature. you should read it when you get a chance. And if you do, remember that the author, Jonathan Swift, had OCD."