Psychology Today created a map of "missed connections."

Rob Daumeyer
Editor- Business Courier

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The fun ruiners over at Psychology Today must have beat deadline on their new study of why people eat five-day-old popcorn. (I’ll save you the time: It’s because we’re lazy pigs.) They clearly had some serious time to spare to put this awesomely sad map together.

Editor’s Note: No, I don’t subscribe to Psychology Today. I found that map on the Internet while doing a Google search for “Why am I so well-adjusted?” So keep the “you’re crazypants” comments to yourself.

The map takes a state-by-state look at the most common hot spots for “Missed Connections” on Craigslist. Apparently Ohioans yearn most frequently at Wal-Mart, I’m guessing in the trampoline department. Kentuckians prefer grocery stores, which I totally get. Cheetos can be very sexy. Indianans missed their love connections most frequently when they’re at home. That last sentence deserves an entire book of its own, but let’s keep moving.

While the map itself is well worth your time, what’s really awesome is the source material. Head over to the “missed connections” section of Cincinnati Craigslist and put your phone on Do Not Disturb. I had no idea. If Craigslist “missed connections” was around when I was in college, I’d have posted an entry every 14 seconds for four years.

No doubt, the Wal-Mart postings are great. “No matter what direction we went,” reads a recent post, “it was only a matter of time before we were back in the same isle (sic) or so it turned out, checking out at the same time.”

But there are so many more locations. So many other missed connections. A salt truck driver in Westwood. Someone buying spinach at the Fort Mitchell Kroger. A cashier at United Dairy Farmers in Withamsville. And a woman in the “psychiatric ward” at Elizabeth hospital.

Someone get the stale popcorn; I’ll be here for a while.

Daumeyer oversees the Courier's editorial department.