How You Perceive Yourself Affects How You Handle Bad Breakups

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Some people move on from a breakup way faster than others. Turns out this can also be explained by science.

According to a new study published in the Personality and Social Psychology bulletin, how a person bounces back from a break up has a lot to do with his or her self-perception. The Standford University psychologists behind the research found that people who perceived themselves having "fixed" personalities are the ones less likely to move on easily from a breakup. They are also the ones likely to suffer from breakup issues because they thought the fault lies in their personality. 

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For those who believe that the "self" is a stagnant concept, rejection not only feels bad for them, but can actually be debilitating. Being rejected makes them feel as if there is something inherently wrong with them and unworthy of love, even as the next person comes along.

Those with this kind of fixed mindset believes that being rejected means the sense of self they shared to their exes was rejected, making moving on quite hard to do. These are the same people who believe the line uttered by their exes "it's not you, it's me" is just an excuse, even if the fault really lies with their partners. They tend to blame themselves for the failure of the relationship.

Opposite to them are those who believe that one's personality or character is fluid. They are those who believe that labels they received from others or even the labels they put on themselves at one point in their lives can change one day. Therefore, they perceive the breakup in a more healthy fashion, believing that something was wrong with the relationship and not really with them. They are those who can learn from what went wrong and not blame themselves. They enter their next relationships with no fear too. These are the people who experience the benefits of a bad breakup, as listed by Bustle

 

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