How We View Our Lives, Understanding Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is something important to each of us, on an individual level. The subject of an incredible amount of research over the past 30-40 years, it raises questions about how we feel about ourselves and what role those feelings play in our daily lives. Messaging has successfully found its way into schools, public service announcements and in the culture around us: that self-esteem is important. Kate Lochte and Dr. Michael Bordieri of the Murray State Department of Psychology resume their bi-weekly conversation on Sounds Good with an exploration on this topic and how we view our lives.

Dr. Bordieri says the good news is that the marketing been successful. Looking at groups of kids now versus 20 years ago, self-esteem is on the rise. Children today think more highly of themselves than children did in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, he says. However, it hasn't amounted to the changes one would hope. We should be living better, with less problems overall, achieving more, more satisfied with our jobs, working harder, but the data isn't there. In fact, in some ways its trending in the opposite direction.

Our standing in schools compared with the rest of the world are less than they were 30 years ago. Mental health issues in adolescence are increasing in proportion. While we have a generation that thinks more highly of themselves, they struggle more with the problems we were hoping self-esteem would address, Dr. Bordieri says.

The solution may be in our approach to self-esteem. "What we feel and think about ourselves may not be what's causing us to go out and do good things in the world. And it might be the opposite. The idea here is that maybe how we feel about ourselves isn't what drives us to go out and do things, but instead the things we do and engaging in patterns of behavior that are meaningful - the outcome of that is improved self-esteem." In short: don't just think great, live great.

How do we help kids who are at a disadvantage catch up? Dr. Bordieri cites research finding that interventions designed around self-esteem helped a little bit, but the ones that really worked were the ones that gave kids the basic skills to be good at math and reading. Methods that built the skills of their students over time versus ones that gave kids points for nothing showed greater effectiveness. A wave of new publishing reflects this: it's not feeling good that matters as much as first living good and then focusing on those feelings after.

Dr. Michael Bordieri is an Assistant Professor of Psychology at Murray State University and a clinical supervisor at the MSU Psychological Center. The Psychological Center is staffed by graduate students in clinical psychology at MSU who provide therapy and assessment services under the supervision of licensed clinical psychologists. The center is open to MSU students, faculty and staff as well as community members from the surrounding area. The Center's number is 270-809-2504.

Our next discussion with Dr. Bordieri is April 21.

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