Imagine it's a wonderful June day and you are at the beach.

You walk to the water's edge, and you gently stick your toes in the blue ocean, as the sun bathes you with a pleasing sense of contentment and warmth.

The waves come in and leave, one after the other, passing over your feet in a rhythmic pattern.

The world is yours.

Now, stop the waves.

Oh, you can't?

Well, stopping change in our lives is much like trying to stop waves.

Change is part of who we are during all the stages of our lives, as we develop from infant to adolescent to adult.

Change can also lead to transformation. Somehow, we can be very different after certain changes.

As we age, we become more aware of the need for change and for transformation. Some of us, however, deny and ignore both … and we pay the price. Lao Tzu reminded us that, "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."

Psychology, as a clinical profession and a scientific discipline, has looked at change for all of its own young existence. Erik Erickson (1902 -1994) taught us how we are changed and transformed by a series of crises at each stage of our life. Today, and in the next two columns, I will share psychology's views and findings about change and transformation throughout your life.

We have been changing from our first breath, and even before that, according to biology. Psychology has shown us how much an infant can change … and changes others.

Even without formal language, the infant has much to learn, and much to communicate to others. Will we produce a safe, loving "holding" environment that gives the infant a sense of trust for his initial contact with others? Or will neglect, abuse or our overwhelming worries and fears produce a tempered ‘first impression'? And, somehow, reduce his level of trust?

Let us travel on for 18 more months. That child now has the ability to move about, explore anywhere … and say, "No!"

He has developed his will. Having developed trust during his previous stage of emotional development, he now feels secure enough to exert his will and toy with autonomy.

In my 40 years of treating children, I find that this is a very disturbing period for certain parents. They devour books about the "strong-willed child." (One never reads about the "strong-obedient child," but "will", well that's a different story.)

I worry more about the fearful, rigid "strong-willed" parent, who will produce an overly conventional child or a very oppositional one.

With trust in his heart and autonomy in his stride and in his words, the child now moves on to the next stage. Here he will exhibit curiosity and initiative, asking us many "Why… ...?" questions.

Will we stop long enough to answer them? The child is searching; he now has a purpose, but where will he find a setting that he can satisfy his curiosity?

Now, armed with trust, autonomy and purpose, the child enters school, a setting that may take up many years of his life to come. Parents and society will judge if he handles this period of change and becomes competent and industrious. Parents put so much at stake here for the child.

Will the child be able to transform himself and wind up a "success" in his and his parents' eyes? Or will the academic tasks of school make him feel that he is inferior. This is the stage where we ‘learn' that discipline and hard work are the keys to fame and fortune in the future. Only years later would I understand Mark Twain's warning: "If work was so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves."

During this stage, the child must learn to like "what" he can do. Is he a competent person or is he a failure? Alongside this, he must enter the next stage and learn to accept not "what" he can do but "who" he is.

"Who we are" is the essential task of adolescence; we must find an identity.

Oh, identity issues! What roles will we take on … and discard … this month. When will our physical bodies develop and match our hero fantasies? Can I commit to another? And what should I do with these raging erotic thoughts? Should I let 10 minutes go by without checking my texts?

Somehow, it now seems easier to lose someone. That feeling could lead to great sadness, self-doubt or even suicide for the truly hopeless.

Loss becomes real, perhaps for the first time since we had experienced abandonment at an earlier stage of development. But this loss is so much more. I remember when I was in the eighth grade I lost my classmate, Bruno, who was shot to death during a robbery of the store where he worked to earn his family extra money. I wondered, as I cried in church during his funeral, how could life take away such a colorful and vibrant friend? I had attended many funerals of older adults up to that day, but now I realized that life can change in an instant …. even for someone my age.

Life was telling me about change and transformation.

In next week's column, I will explore change and transformation in the adult years. We will see ourselves as warriors climbing the competitive corporate ladder, rescuing (and marrying) the fair maiden, and in the later adult years, wondering as someone once wrote, "One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching."

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Philip Kronk, M.S., Ph.D. is a child and adult Clinical Psychologist and a child and adult Clinical Neuropsychologist. Dr. Kronk has a doctorate in Clinical Psychology and a post-doctorate degree in Clinical Psychopharmacology. (The use of drugs to treat mental disorders.) His internship year in Clinical Psychology was served at the University of Colorado Medical School. Dr. Kronk writes a weekly online column for the Knoxville News Sentinel's website, knoxnews.com. Dr. Kronk can be reached at (865) 330-3633.