Humans are wired to break up and move on, according to a new study drawing on the field of evolutionary psychology.

“Our review of the literature suggests we have a mechanism in our brains designed by natural selection to pull us through a very tumultuous time in our lives,” says Brian Boutwell, associate professor of criminology and criminal justice and associate professor of epidemiology at Saint Louis University in the U.S.

Dr. Bountwell focused on the process of breaking up (deemed primary mate ejection for the purposes of the study), and getting over it — which is called secondary mate ejection.

“It suggests people will recover; the pain will go away with time,” he says of his research. “There will be a light at the end of the tunnel.”

Men are more likely to end relationships if their partner has cheated on them, according to the study, indicating that for evolutionary purposes, men are hard-wired to avoid raising children of whom they are not the biological father.

Women are likely to end relationships if their partner is emotionally unfaithful and this also has evolved for practical reasons, according to the study, which was published in the journal Review of General Psychology.

Mate ejection by females has evolved as a way to avoid the loss of resources, such as physical protection, that their mates provide, says Dr. Boutwell.

Yet men and women have reasons in common for ending a relationship, according to Dr. Boutwell, whose research suggests neither tolerates cruelty.

Research into lost love is important, says Dr. Boutwell, in developing a better understanding of why relationships fail.

“If we better understand mate ejection, it may offer direct and actionable insight into ways in which couples can save a relationship,” he says.