Within the field of Psychology there are known behavioral scripts that people act out. They are so common that psychologists and psychiatrists even give them numbers and it is said joke about them occasionally at parties. What's interesting and instructional about behavioral scripts is that there are two types that drive us: instinctual and learned. For example, drinking fluids and eating are basic instincts; selecting the fluids and foods that won't kill us or make us sick are behaviors we learn. Learned behaviors that become scripts are those that are common among us, like the ways we get out of doing chores we don't like, or get out of going to jobs we learn not to like, even imagining better lives when we complain about the ones we live. There were successful situational comedy programs based on common stereotypes, like I Love Lucy, Family Matters, Archie Bunker and many and others.
It is also true that anyone feeling a lack of control in their life, because they have made little or no effort to construct one of self-choosing, will probably try to bring some level of control by altering their personal behavior and habits to control stress. These coping behaviors include overeating, blaming parents or the lack thereof, blaming racism, blaming the lack of money to buy books (colleges discard millions each year), blaming life circumstances that prevent adequate time for self-improvement, etc. And when coping behaviors become debilitating, some will withdraw from friends and family, physically or psychologically, take drugs or find other ways to escape reality, or seek professional help. Others will simply overcome their circumstances and coping behaviors and move forward, some drawing inspiration and or guidance from self-help books.
We also know that those with the least education or the most socially unacceptable behaviors or characteristics (improper dress, body odor, inability to speak effectively, etc) will suffer some form of 'bias,' socially and with regard to employment. White collar and professional environments often require the employee to dress and behave to fit the generally accepted norms for the position and to speak and present themselves well in a public setting. Even those that strike out on their own in order to be able to express some level of individuality must meet customer acceptability. In other words, society sets standards for most personal and professional relationships.
Racism is a tool used by many to either allow those who feel disenfranchised because they have not made the effort to 'fit in,' or want to have the ability to exact some level of control over others by claiming certain gestures or words are offensive to them. In other words, they decide to be offended if we do or say this or that.
Which brings us to the N word. Many whites once used the N word to suggest that blacks were inferior, and blacks chose to wear that mantle until they realized that they were not. Following the Civil Rights movement, blacks have long since had the opportunity to move forward, accepting the fact that we all have natural fears of the unknown, which cause us to behave in certain ways. One of those natural fears leads us to select friends and employees based on our level of familiarity and or personal comfort; which means schools, colleges, and communities that integrate normally are the best ways to reduce natural fears and expand one's range of personal comfort. (1) And blacks and pandering whites that continue to treat the N word, or any other word, as a negative have the opportunity to move on if they wish to. They could ignore it or give it a positive connotation, but regarding it as a negative gives them some level of power and control that they, as a group, feel they deserve, while distorting and perverting any chance for intelligent discussion. This perversion of power and control, which incites racism, has created a seriously negative impact on society and hope for what should be at this point a non-racial issue.
A society that wants to move beyond playing such games has to stop this self-pity, self-indulgence and pandering and accept that the N word and all other words that anyone finds offensive are just words, and stop giving those who feel hurt by them special influence and power. In other words, it is time for us all to grow up. We need to do this because the negative self-reinforcing coping mechanism that leads to school dropouts has a direct correlation to societal decline (widespread laziness, drugs, crime, and unnecessary dependence): "You can guesstimate what the crime rate is going to be based on the educational achievement by the fourth grade, specifically reading. ..." "In fact, statistics show two thirds of children who don't read at grade level at the end of the fourth grade will either end up in jail or on welfare." And the life of drugs and crime forced on the young by this paradigm has created the highest crime rate in America and the murders of youths who reject this insanity, refusing to buy drugs or join gangs. These are the problems we should really be discussing.
1) Forced integration can be counterproductive because it sparks fears of past outcomes that included property devaluation due to the unwillingness of the new residents to honor neighborhood standards by creating subpar living conditions (parking on the front lawn, loud music and yelling out windows, failure to keep their property clean and uncluttered and properly maintained, and throwing trash in the street, which can encourage pestilence and disease). All of which have been shown to be part of the lifestyles that some poor and uneducated Americans and immigrants can bring to a neighborhood or community and thus destroy it, if integration is forced.