Asking for favours actually makes you more popular as people like the feeling they get from helping others, research finds 

Forget bending over backwards to please people – the best way to make friends is to ask others to do things for you.

Japanese scientists have found that instead of being regarded as a nuisance, those who ask for favours are actually seen as more likeable.

Psychologists at Hosei University in Tokyo sat 80 students in pairs with screens dividing them and gave them puzzles to complete.

Some had secretly been told to seek help from their neighbour with one of the tests.

The researchers then asked the other participants to rate their neighbour in terms of likeability.

The results showed popularity soared when strangers asked directly for help.

The scientists said the findings, published in the Journal of Social Psychology, suggest openly seeking favours galvanises friendships rather than undermining them – as long as it is in moderation.

They said: ‘People in need of help often refrain from asking because they believe others will not grant their request, or because they believe it could signal their incompetence.

‘But this study demonstrated requesting a favour can increase attraction by conveying the desire to form affectionate relationships.’

Consultant clinical psychologist Dr Sally Austen, from Dudley in the West Midlands, said being asked to do someone a favour signifies that you are trusted and likeable.

He said: ‘Although the favour may be an imposition our time, as long as it is not excessive, it offers a generosity of trust and flattery.

‘If I am running late and ask someone to pick up my children from school I am saying that I trust them to care for my children, to drive safely and to like me despite my poor time organisation.

‘As long as the requests for favours are then broadly equal and alternate, the shared relationship moves from acquaintance to friend.

‘But abuse of the subtle social rules that underpin the use of favours can also wreck friendships.’