A growing body of scientific research indicates that living a “mindful” life is very good for one’s emotional and mental health. But what exactly does that mean?

Psychology Today says that “mindfulness is simply about being mindful of what you’re thinking and deciding where to focus your attention.”

That definition seems too limited to me. I’ve been trying to practice mindfulness for the past year, and here’s what I’ve learned. To be mindful, I must:

• Focus on the present
• Decide – then commit.
• Set specific intentions.
• Serve others, at least part of the time.
• Stay positive.

Why focus on the present? Rather than rehash the past or worry about the future, paying attention to the here and now seems to keep things much more real. No being paralyzed by regret. No taking a “wait and see attitude,” which can be a convenient way of procrastinating. Of course, I reflect on past events, and plan for future activities. But day to day, I try to stay focused on what I’m doing at the time I’m doing it, and appreciate what’s good about it as well as what needs an adjustment.

As much as I liked the idea of being mindful, it didn’t happen on its own. I had to make the decision to lead a mindful life – and then commit to changing my ways so that mindfulness would become a daily habit rather than a once-in-a-while thing. What I found is that making the decision was actually very easy. But committing to that decision was tougher than I’d expected. Old habits die hard, including the habits of brooding on the past, worrying about the future, or spacing out in the middle of the day. Actually committing to the practice is what made the difference.

Setting specific intentions helped me get clear about what I was committing to. “Being mindful” is pretty vague. Deciding to “spend 30 minutes every day enjoying Nature” or “truly listen to what my kids are saying” helped me get clear on what I needed to be mindful of. It’s not that I created a “mindfulness to-do list” – I didn’t. But I have learned to start every day with one or two specific intentions, and to check in with myself during the day to see how I’m doing. Being specific helps me stay focused and, well, mindful.

One benefit of living a more mindful life is that it seems to inevitably lead to being kinder and more generous than others. When we become more aware of ourselves, we can’t help but become more aware of the impact we have on those around us. I didn’t start out pursuing a more mindful existence because I necessarily wanted to become a humanitarian. But it seems like that’s what’s happening, and I’ve gotta tell you: it feels pretty good. Interestingly, Psychology Today reported on a business school professor named Adam Grant, who says “The greatest untapped source of motivation is a sense of service to others; focusing on the contribution of our work to other peoples’ lives has the potential to make us more productive than thinking about ourselves.” I’d have to agree.

Living mindfully also seems to help me stay positive. I’m a “glass half full” kind of person anyway, but anyone can get bogged down when things don’t go our way. Being mindful, I can give myself a good reality check when I need it. Rather than wallow in self-pity or be consumed by worry, I can generally see the light at the end of the tunnel. My experience is not unique. A study reported on in the Washington Post similarly found that people suffering from chronic depression improved when they received therapy in how to be more mindful.

Despite being aware of all the benefits, I still have to practice being mindful. Here’s how I do that:

* I set my intention every morning as I am getting up. Honestly, I can’t tell you how motivating it is to take a few minutes before my hectic day begins to get clear on my one or two intentions for the day. Rather than make me overwhelmed, my intention gives me clarity and purpose. I love starting my day that way.

* I silently repeat this mantra: “I can. I will. I must.” Maybe it will work for you, too. I feel like I can do anything when I repeat “I can. I will. I must.” even just three or four times.

* I breathe – deeply. Of course, if you do yoga or meditate, you know all about the power of breathing to restore peace and equilibrium. That’s true for me, too, but it’s even more than that. It truly centers me, and in a way, gives me permission to stop, take stock of what’s going on, and re-connect to the moment at hand in a way that is not overwrought or emotionally exhausting. This deep breathing usually only takes a few minutes, and I certainly don’t sit down in the lotus position or assume tree pose. I just stop, close my eyes, inhale and exhale deeply, and voila. Back in the moment.

* I record. I’ve been keeping journals since I was a little kid, and I write for living, so putting words down on a page comes pretty naturally to me. But now, I’m not just keeping monotonous track of how I spent my day. I try to jot down my intentions for the day in the morning, and in the evening, express gratitude for the little gifts living mindfully bestowed on me all day. If you’re not a writer, you could do the same on a private Pinterest board, or your own Facebook page you never invite anyone to friend. Or create a mindfulness Facebook community so you and your friends can support each other as you all learn to be mindful together.

In the end, what is most powerful about deciding to live a mindful life is that it feels like it gives you so much more control over your existence. Life can either happen to us, or we can make happen the life we want to lead. I prefer the latter, don’t you?