Adults probably think singly about the things that make them crazy while raising children just when one stressor happens.

Micah Wrase, licensed specialist in school psychology for Kerrville ISD and leader of the Character and Kindness project, has a presentation to illustrate “10 things to make sure you go crazy.”

The program was created to discuss with both adults and children the pressures of parenting school children.

“This is basically everything you don’t want to do, because it would result in some kind of anxiety,” Wrase said.

He organized these 10 tips in descending order, starting with Number 10, which he titled “Be Very, Very Afraid.”

Wrase said students — or anyone — can fear too much, or fear too many things.

Those things can include fear of failure, of rejection, of success (because of having to sustain it), of the unknown, of being vulnerable which can lead to disappointment or loss.

“It’s wrong to hold this in and be silent about their fears, but that’s what some students do,” Wrase said.

No. 9 on his list is to insist on being absolutely perfect at anything.

Wrase said as a quick activity with a group of adults in a PTO meeting recently, he asked each to write on a note card how they would like to be remembered.

“The answers showcased what they value most, and they were all nearly identical to the answers I got with a group of about 12 sixth-graders. They all wanted to be remembered well by their families and friends,” Wrase said.

He said he recommended the grownups read a publication called “What’s Bad about Being Good?” and said he gave them eight tips for overcoming perfectionism. The adults responded with nervous laughter and head-nodding.

Tip No. 8 was to “have an adolescent brain” with all that implies.

Adolescents have a different mental approach to decision-making. They are still developing the ability to take someone else’s perspective to guide ongoing behavior. The portion of the brain that stops them from taking risks is still developing. And while the reward-processing area is hypersensitive, so is their level of embarrassment in front of parents.

No. 7 is an exercise in which he holds up a glass of water that is not full but not empty, and ask others what his question would be. Most say, is it full or empty?

Wrase said students hold onto things and continue to carry burdens and difficulties. And it’s like someone trying to hold up a glass of water forever. It’s impossible.

“They need guidance about letting things go or taking a breather,” Wrase said.

His No. 6 tip is, “Definitely Do Not Laugh – Ever.”

Wrase said he’s a believer in the power of humor, and brain research bears out his beliefs.

“Laughter definitely has an impact on a family,” Wrase said.

“It’s like the difference between what it does to you to always listen to talk-radio, or to a comedy routine,” he said. “I’ve asked an adult to smile at me and say, ‘I’m disappointed in you,’ in their most formidable voice. It’s impossible. And they can’t do the reverse either.”

Tip No. 5 is to “Go To Bed Late and Get Up Early” — in other words, too little sleep can do you in.

“Teens probably need 10 hours sleep per night, not just eight. It affects how they manage their emotions and their academics,” Wrase said. “And experts also recommend that your bed is just for sleeping. Don’t read a book there, and especially don’t use a laptop there. Any backlit screen wakes up the brain when you’re trying to go to sleep.”

He recommends if one’s brain keeps going and going, when trying to get to sleep, that purging the brain by making to-do lists on paper can help. Then put the paper and pencil away and turn out the lights.

His tip No. 4 is to be just like Spock, always striving to be on an even keel all the time.

“People just can’t be emotion-less all the time,” Wrase said. “Even Spock wasn’t because he was part human.”

“Be an Energizer Bunny and always on the go, go, go” is Wrase’s No. 3 tip.

“No one can be a machine that never stops producing,” Wrase said, and suggested adults read a book titled “The Art of Stillness.”

He said people need a mental health break regularly to disconnect from the world in a positive way; and recommends 20 minutes per day of true meditation and quiet.

The No. 2 tip is to “Be a Stew-er – Not a Do-er.” Wrase said people who “stew” or ruminate over a problem or situation should only do so long enough to make a plan, then take action and make a change.

He suggests concretely identifying a problem; listing the problem-solving actions; picking one of the options; and writing out a plan of action.

And his No. 1 tip is to “Keep your wheel out of true.”

Keeping in mind that a good bicycle wheel is a true circle, Wrase has a test he gives on this one.

In a circle on paper, he adds spokes and each one is labeled depending on what age group or kind of organization he’s addressing.

His example had spokes for exercise, healthy diet, frugality, communicating feelings, managing time spent working, taking a breather, setting differences aside in relationships, and planning ahead.

Each person is asked to rate the trait or activity from 1 to 6, with 1 near the center of the wheel for too little effort or time taken, to 6 at the outer circle for too much time and effort taken.

Then Wrase collects the circle graphs and “connects the dots” on each, showing how most individuals’ assessments are not a true wheel, which would make a bumpy wheel – out of “true.”

“Being a “6” for everything is being a perfectionist,” Wrase said. “I do this with students and I do it for myself first before each program, and it’s different every time.”

For more information on Wrase’s services, call 257-2203, ext. 1230, after school resumes Jan. 5.