Psychological life audits

Samineh I. Shaheem (Out of Mind) / 4 August 2012

Every once in a while we need to take a good look at our life to try and evaluate how functional and fit we feel. Of course most of us avoid this assessment for fear of what we might uncover, an inability to change or just because we are so set in our ways that we don’t know how to carve out a new road map.

Whatever the reason may be, change isn’t easy and it’s just natural to try and initially resist it. What’s interesting is that it’s not change that’s difficult to confront; it’s the process of transformation that can be challenging. What’s the difference? Well, change is the actual event while transformation is the emotional, intellectual and physical, tension-filled unfamiliar journey that we have to embark on.

If reading this article invites you to think about the areas of your life that you want to modify, the good news is that you are half way there – congratulations. Others might feel uncomfortable with even thinking about having to acknowledge the more wounded or challenging aspects of their life, which in the long run, prevents you from living more holistically.

Regardless of where you fall on this transformative spectrum, it’s important to remind yourself to regularly engage in psychological life audits. By doing this, you can better understand your physical and emotional needs in order to prevent illnesses rather than having to worry about ways of later curing the tribulations of modern living.

These steps below can be used as a starting point to consider aspects of your life which might need to be fine-tuned as well as some suggestions as possible solutions to those feeling stuck and stagnant:

• If thinking about something/someone hurts, it’s probably because it requires your attention. Repressing it just to temporarily stop the pain is not going to make it go away.
• Think about all those people who have contributed positively to your life. Now compare the way in which you’ve shown your appreciation. Remember it is never too late to do so.
• If you have a physical or emotional pain of some kind, even if its not constant and just comes and goes, seek the help of a medical professional to try and sort it out once and for all. Waiting for it to disappear might just lead to a more serious ailment.
• Make sure you have a healthy balance between guilt and resentment. Being a constant people pleaser can lead to disappointment and anger. At the same time always gauge your own expectations from others.
• Don’t just talk about all those things you would love to do - do them. What’s stopping you?
• See the best in others and appreciate them instead of clawing away at their flaws just to feed your own insecurity.
• Rest. More important than any other activity today, we need to rest since our well-being is dependent on the restoration that takes place while we chillax.
• Avoid feeling fragmented. Think about ways in which you are stretching yourself too far, sometimes even breaking into different pieces. Try and regroup so you feel healthy and whole.
• Burn bridges where necessary. Staying in touch or trying to constantly resurrect a dead relationship may do more harm than good.
• Learn from your past mistakes and try to eliminate repeating the same negative patterns. 
• Assess the amount of time you spend on the Internet. Turn some of that virtual interaction into real interaction instead.
• Try and take some time off from work. You could either take a vacation or a ‘staycation’ meaning those who vacation at home either by choice or due to financial restraints.
• Celebrate your achievements regularly – never down play them or underestimate yourself.
• Remain aligned with the truth. The further you stray, the more confused and complicated life will seem.
• Happiness is not always an adjective nor is it a constant state so you need not ask yourself whether you are a ‘happy person’ or not. Instead praise and welcome happy moments.
• Don’t let the past define you but do remain mindful of the defining moments that have shaped your life.

Open your world to the idea of change and the journey towards transformation shall begin.

Remember, learning more results in living more…over to you…

Samineh I Shaheem is an author, an assistant professor of psychology, currently lecturing in Dubai, as well as a cross-cultural consultant at HRI. She has studied and worked in different parts of the world, including the USA, Canada, UK, Netherlands, and the UAE. She co hosts a radio program (Psyched Sundays 10-12pm) every Sunday morning on Dubai Eye discussing the most relevant psychological issues in our community.   Please forward your thoughts and suggestions for future articles to OutOfMindContact@gmail.com