What can parents do to rear a teen who is well-behaved, happy and respectful? A tactic that doesn't work is broadly called harsh verbal discipline, whether that's shouting at teens, yelling, screaming, swearing, insulting or calling them names, says a study out today. In fact, those parenting actions increase the risk that the adolescent will misbehave and suffer symptoms of depression.
Shouting and yelling are ineffective and can be harmful, says study's author Ming-Te Wang, assistant professor in the department of psychology and the school of education at the University of Pittsburgh. "This may explain why so many parents say that no matter how loud they shout, their teenagers don't listen."
Wang and colleagues studied 967 two-parent families and their teens in Pennsylvania. Most of the families were middle class, generally white or African American. The parents and their children completed surveys over a two-year period on issues such as parent-child relationships and mental health.
Thirteen-year-olds who received a lot of harsh verbal discipline from their parents were more likely to have symptoms of depression at age 14, according to the findings published in the journal Child Development. They were also more likely to exhibit problem behaviors such as anger, aggression, vandalism and misconduct, Wang says.
Psychologists who work with teens and their families say parents should carefully consider the implications of these findings.
When you expose children to prolonged stress -- and it does not have to be severe stress -- you increase the risk of all kinds of physical and mental health problems, says Alan Kazdin, professor of psychology and child psychiatry at Yale University and author of The Everyday Parenting Toolkit.
You do not want harshness in the home, Kazdin says. "We do not want toxins. That shows up in mental and physical health. We want acceptance, nurturing, love, cuddling."
Ongoing harsh verbal discipline and criticism can fuel difficulties and rebellion in kids, says Neil Bernstein, an adolescent psychologist in Washington, D.C., and author of How to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do if You Can't.
"Extremes of parenting don't work. The put-down parent is no more effective than the laissez-faire parent who is totally chill and sets no limits on their children's behavior."
That said, there are times where parents are justifiably angry and yell in exasperation, he says. For instance, if a teen has put himself in a dangerous situation, such as driving drunk or recklessly, a parent may scream, "You could have been killed." (continued...)
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