Last night, the NYU Department of Psychology’s Special Topics in Human Sexuality course held an intimate panel for students at 411 Lafayette Street featuring sex therapists Dr. Stephen Snyder, MD; Dr. Hernando Chaves; and Dr. Megan Fleming, PhD. It was organized and moderated by the course’s professor, Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, PhD. The optional panel was aimed at students in the Human Sexuality course, but anyone from NYU could attend.
The sex therapy field is not an incredibly large one, but each panelist brought a unique voice and perspective to the evening. Dr. Fleming entered into the field clinically, working with patients suffering from conditions like breast or prostate cancer. She described wanting to know how to work with patients to “give back that [prior] level of pleasure and connection.” Joke-cracking Dr. Snyder has been in sex therapy for 25 years, was formerly a psychiatrist, and has an MD—a rare thing for sex therapists nowadays. He went through training in the 90s, where he “didn’t learn that much, because they didn’t know that much [yet].” He now works mainly with couples and men in their twenties and thirties with erectile or ejaculation issues. Dr. Chaves is based in LA and focuses dually on “erotic minorities” (LGBT, kinky, polyamorous, fetishistic, or similar individuals) and sexual concerns. Originally an athlete, he attended the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, a controversially non-accredited institution offering degrees in Human Sexuality.
Curiously, all came from religious backgrounds, and two currently define themselves as religious. Though religious people are often perceived as prudish, this was certainly not the case. The content discussed ranged from erectile dysfunction and diminished desire to giantess fantasies and describing the spongy tissue of the G-spot as “bubble wrap.”
Sex therapy is, for the most part, talk therapy focused on sexual dysfunctions and anxieties. Rare exceptions include the use of a sex surrogate: someone who uniquely engages in sexual contact with the client, negotiated by both client and therapist. However, they are rarely used since there are no laws in place to formally distinguish this practice from prostitution. Sex therapy clients can be individuals, couples, poly triads, or anything in between. Some sex therapists are certified by AASECT but most are not; if they are already a licensed mental health counselor they do not have to be.
“Sex is complex,” said Dr. Fleming. “You have to access so many domains.” This was abundantly clear from how many subjects and opinions were covered. The conversation was very open; one student brought up long-distance relationships, and one panelist immediately brought up sex toys that can be controlled by a long-distance partner through certain smartphone apps. There was a spirited discussion on monogamy and an even more spirited one on the legitimacy of sex addiction. These are people who are endlessly comfortable talking about sexuality, but are okay with not having all the answers or there being more than one answer. They spoke of being aware of what they cannot stay neutral on and thus cannot bring into their work, and that it is important to understand the client as thoroughly as possible. However, it wasn’t perfect; the dialogue was almost always binary-based and 90% included solely discussions of heterosexuality.
The origins of common issues faced by the panelists’ clients were frequently discussed. One of those was the lack of sex education that is so pervasive in America; Dr. Chaves described the current sex education breakdown as one-third of people getting no sex ed at all, one-third getting abstinence-only education, and one-third getting a more comprehensive education where they might have material about contraception and STI prevention but still be missing some aspects such as LGBT education or the acknowledgment that sex is also a thing people do for pleasure. “Who ever really taught us how to be sexual?” Dr. Chaves asked. “We never really get this information.“ Even sex therapy itself is not widely-taught; only a few programs for it exist today.
Still, in college getting “this information” is not easy. This course is new to NYU; this is only the second time it has been offered and Dr. Vrangalova, an adjunct professor, told Local they created the course at her suggestion. Dr. Vranglova, who is a prominent sex researcher and writer with a focus on casual sex, also has over 4,000 followers on twitter. She is a very active user, as are all the panelists. In fact, she requires her students to also have accounts for the class. The course is a truly valuable addition to NYU’s surprisingly-sparse sex-based repertoire; a browse of Albert’s undergrad offerings for Fall 2015 include only the CAMS course Sex Matters, the Steinhardt Applied Psych course Psychosocial Aspects of Sexual Behavior, and a couple of general courses in gender studies.
Panelists were passionate and informative, while students seemed continuously engaged and participatory; the panel went on the entire time without a break and continued even after the allotted two hours. Everyone sat around the same small table, creating a communal atmosphere. Rachel Lepore, a Drama and Psychology double major, said “as a person who is very fascinated by clinical psychology, it was interesting to meet and speak with people from a very important branch that isn’t as populated or commonly discussed.”
And what about NYU students looking to pursue a career in sex therapy or a related field? All three panelists stressed the importance of education. Dr. Fleming said academics provided a lot of opportunity for flexibility: some of the panelists are also teachers, researchers, or published writers. The evening itself provided an education of all sorts, opening students’ eyes to the sorts of opportunities that are out there that go beyond your average counselor and cultivating stimulating discussion on topics few classes would breach. As Dr. Snyder put it, “it’s just fun. You talk dirty and you make people feel better. It’s the best.”
Dr. Vrangalova’s Human Sexuality course will be offering several more panels throughout the semester; the next one is happening April 9 and will be focused on non-monogamy. To get updates on the panels and more, follow Dr. Vrangalova on Twitter.
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